Communicating With Your Therapist
by Jennifer Falzett-Smith
Jennifer Falzetta-Smith, LMT
While I was attending massage therapy school one of the perks was getting a free massage on a regular basis. Anytime someone was offering to give a massage I would jump at the chance. Little did I know that one massage in particular would teach me a valuable lesson about communication in the therapy room.
One day some of the students in the class ahead of mine were having a slow day at the clinic and were looking to practice on other students. I immediately volunteered and walked back to the clinic anticipating a nice relaxing massage.
At that point in my education I had already learned about how to be attentive to the client’s needs in order to make them feel comfortable and safe. Because I knew all of these things, I thought that as the client I would be able to speak up and let the student performing my massage know if I was uncomfortable or if I needed anything. What I realized as I was laying on the table was that I had suddenly I become a client who was having a very hard time communicating with my therapist.
The massage started out with a nice gentle, relaxing face massage, and then without any warning an eye pack was slapped over my eyes. I do not like having my eyes covered, and I began to feel very anxious and upset at having this done without my permission. I knew I should say something, but my lips felt glued shut. The massage proceeded very haphazardly. There seemed to be no rhythm to the massage. The student spilled some oil and muttered a few curse words, and the whole time I just kept asking myself, “why don’t you say something?” I couldn’t wait for the whole experience to come to an end. When I left I felt tense and traumatized. I did, however, walk away with a new appreciation for what it can be like to be in the client’s shoes and how hard it can be to communicate your feelings.
I had other experiences after that particular massage when the pressure would be too hard, or it would feel like my face was being ripped off, and instead of speaking up I would just silently pray that it would be over soon. I never understood why I had such a hard time letting people know how I was feeling. I knew how important communication was in the therapy session, but the power differential was much stronger than I had imagined. Even though I knew I should speak up I felt very vulnerable, and I couldn’t figure out how to say what was on my mind.
Many people feel that they are unable to express their feelings and concerns to their therapist. In addition to this, many clients leave out vital information on their case history forms or don’t take the time to complete them thoroughly. They feel that some things have no relevance to the problem they are seeking treatment for, or they just don’t remember certain details until halfway through the session. Any information the client can provide whether it seems relevant or not is very important in putting together an appropriate treatment plan.
Communication between you and your therapist is the key to a successful therapy session. You are in charge, and you need to let your therapist know what your concerns and expectations are for each session. Filling out case history form completely and accurately will help your therapist ensure your safety and enable them to create a treatment plan suitable to your needs. During the massage it is ok to let your therapist know what you like and don’t like and if there are any areas you would prefer not to be massaged. If the pressure is too hard then speak up – DON’T TRY TO ENDURE THE PAIN! Your muscles will tense in an effort to protect themselves and will make the massage counterproductive.
Talking with your therapist before you get on the table will help cut through the power differential and make it easier to say what is on your mind. Your massage is all about you and being open and honest with your therapist will ensure that you get the most out of your session.
Although my experience that day in massage school was unfortunate I learned a lot from it. I have seen things from the client’s perspective which I feel has made me a better therapist. I realize how important it is to ask for the client’s permission and to make sure I explain things so that the client is a part of the whole session. I have also found that asking questions during the massage prompts feedback from the client and makes it easier for them to communicate what they are feeling. The client and therapist share a common goal in the therapy session, and being able to communicate freely with each other will make it possible to reach that goal sooner and without anxiety or fear.
Remember each Muscle Release Therapy, MRTh® session and relaxation massage is all about YOU. I want what you want….for you to feel better when you leave than you did when you arrived. I welcome your questions - Jennifer@musclereleasetherapy.com.
